i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
