Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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