did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
