It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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