so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize