so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
