If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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