Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
