Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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