when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize