Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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