Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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