Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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