i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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