if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
