if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It was confusing and full of hummus
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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