Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
