so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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