He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize