At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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