You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
