girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize