soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
