can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
