I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
