they need to just BURY HIM!
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize