You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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