I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
