i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
