whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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