So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
