Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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