Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
