You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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