I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
the day after is always just damage control
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
