the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize