its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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