Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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