if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
40s are totally the cure
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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