im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
