I want to walk on stilts...naked
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
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