One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
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He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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