Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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