I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
