I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just tell him i said nine months
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
