So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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