I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
