If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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