real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
