her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize