apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
