Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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