I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
false alarm. still invincible.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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