spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Sacagawea was the original milf.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
